I’m trying to do this upbeat thing right now, but it’s not really working.
I got back to my home country recently, after an undisclosed amount of time in an undisclosed part of the world. I came back burnt out, and as well as that, quite tired. I didn’t realise I was burnt out until using a popular internet search engine to try and figure out what was happening to me. (I’m in a collective data base now as some sort of crazed, psychotic lune trying to figure out what’s wrong their life.) But what I was able to conclude from the search results is – that I wasn’t psychotic, I wasn’t crazy and I wasn’t loosing my mind. I was, as the term has been coined, burnt out. This would explain the reason my brain has no longer been functioning properly. It’s been behaving like a Windows operating system. It keeps crashing.
I punched the screen of my most recent laptop, which I purchased after my last laptop (a 2006 model), died the death of a hard drive having had to run a Windows operating system for too long. It died late in the day while I was in the process of fulfilling online financial responsibilities. So with not much retail time left, I was leveraged into making a snap purchase of something cost-effective, that had the right number of ports, that was portable, and of what I thought was something I was familiar with. Except for the fact that – Windows 8.
I instantly loathed it, but thought to myself – ‘It’s just because it’s new, just a bit unfamiliar, with time, I’ll get used to it.’
I didn’t. The more I used it, the more I loathed it.
Being what it was, selling at a reasonably cost-effective price, or as the English would say – ‘cheap and cheerful’, or as I would say – ‘more than I wanted to be having to spend and not so cheerful’, it lacked a bit of processing ferocity. OK, though, I thought, I wasn’t going to be hard-core gaming on it, gaming on it, or thinking about gaming on it, and my previous laptop had hardly been a high spec beast of portable technology either. Except that this time around – Windows 8.
I’ve never had such a loathsome computing experience than that associated with Windows 8. I don’t even remember wanting to self harm myself as much as I did while waiting half an hour for the lowest of fi video games to load on the ever faithful (in English standards) Acorn Electron (not so faithful), only for it to crash part way through (usually toward the end of the half hour time frame), resulting in having to rewind the tape and begin the loading process all over again.
I have a suspicion that this ordeal was less painful because it was a cassette tape being used to load computer software. It was going to be slow. And understandably unreliable. And it was the 80’s. No one could expect much of any worth to come out of the 80’s.
Hence, my intolerance toward Windows 8. It was 2013 for goodness sake. Things were supposed to be getting better, not worse. Things should be better than in the 80’s. Technology should be better than in the 80’s. Technology should be better than in 2006. An operating system in 2013 should be better than one that was standard issue on a computer from 2006. And it wasn’t 2006, it was 2013, but if it had been 2006, and the abortion of what had been sold to me as a piece operational technology had been purchased in 2006 (or for that matter the 80’s), the situation would be slightly more understandable. But it wasn’t. And the computing power of this newly acquired technological impediment couldn’t anywhere near cope with the utter retardation of the operating system it was sporting. “Sporting”.
I should point, out at this stage, that I’ve refrained from naming the manufacturer of the computer itself, because I don’t think they’re to blame. In fact, they make good computers, and I read recently, somewhere on the internet, that Windows is the cause for a slowing down in the sales of their computing products. Or at least that’s the claim. My previous laptop had also been made by this company, and that thing soldiered on like a Trojan – through extensive use, multiple owners, internal overheating, external overheating (it got baked in the back of a locked up car for several hours in the midday heat of the Middle Eastern sun, and the only damage was a slight warping of the space bar), and the use of a mad Latvian who I lent it to in a hostel so that he could “try and find a job”. That one could have been a mistake.
So, getting back to the introduction of Mr knuckles to what could be regarded as the facial features of my purchase of deep regret – it had been a long time coming, and I’d come close to pummelling it on several other occasions, but at the loss of more data than anyone should be forced to re-enter on account of an operating (in English standards) system, in which the word operating is in actual fact an erroneous misconception of its capabilities, enough was enough.
Which leaves me thinking that I’m due to be punched in the face sometime soon, with a mind that is now days crashing all the time. Sooner or later, someone’s going to have enough of an individual who can’t perform like an individual should be able to perform. Which is why, in the throes of not knowing what to do, or where to go from here, I’ve been considering getting on a plane to set off travelling, and seeing where the road leads.
The trouble with this, off course, is income – which people can make from travelling. People have travel blogs and make their living on the go. I’ve read about it on the Internet through the use of the same search engine that informed me I’m not psychotic. The problem here, however, as many will know, is that travel blogging is a populated field – there are a lot of people already doing it, and it can take years to start making money from – if at all. And there are pitfalls. Like needing to be at least a half decent blogger. If not, a decent blogger. And in a state of actively travelling. As well as doing other stuff that isn’t blogging, that, in order to make an income [from blogging], needs to be done in conjunction with blogging. And then there’s that which is working against you, such as: blogging, the existence of another travel blog, and entering into a field that you need to be at least a half decent blogger in, in a field populated with decent bloggers already making money in that field. (I read most of this on the Internet from search results obtained in the process of trying to figure out what to do with my life. It’s what I was doing before trying to figure out what was wrong with my life.)
Which brings me to the point of my blog, and the question of – where too, and what next? A question that neither search engine results, nor my mind, having gone all Windows 8, have been able to resolve. Wherever it is, I will naturally endeavor (of course) (in English standards) to (tra)v(e)l(b)(l)og [log] (to an unspecified level of quality) from wherever I am, so that you can join me in not knowing what I’m doing and continue to have input as to the direction that my journey may, or may not take. Should it ever take place. The Internet has yet to identify as to whether or not something of such an undertaking is recommended in my condition.
By the way – it’s a Hewlett-Packard. I remember now, sitting here looking at what’s left of it, that the battery died just outside of warranty – as did the fan wait until such a time of strategic convenience to begin making a horrendous rattling sound, finally providing just cause to start shaking the unpummelled half of what was left like some sort of crazed psychotic lune, in order to try and, a) stop the rattling, or, b) kill it; only to find that, a) it worked, but temporarily and, b) it didn’t kill it; providing further cause to get inside and take a highly surgical stab in the dark at what kind of lubricant would either, a) fix it, or, b) kill it. In fact, I’ve had to keep up this guesswork so often that the bottom panel continues to remain in a state of permanent detachment, in the hope that it will, b) kill it.
So, given the fact that the lack of battery functionality would have rendered it severely under-equipped as a laptop anyway (and I sure wasn’t going to be forking out for replacement parts on such a tyrant of a machine), it doesn’t really matter that it now sits, permanently plugged in, to the mains, and a desktop monitor. Still working.
Thanks a lot HP. No wonder my mind’s giving up. By the way, I’m looking for sponsors for my travels. Maybe you’d be so good as to provide me with a laptop of functioning portability. I could drop off what’s left of the current one. Maybe this can be the first league of my journey.