The good news is, that during a late night walk, I happened upon the Hewlett-Packard building…

I open my Asus laptop and am met with the words –



This sums up my thoughts on my latest computing purchase, because, if the search is for incredible, then the search should go on.

It has come time, although it was time a while ago, to review the Asus laptop, which, if you read my earlier post containing information regarding my latest purchase of computing necessity, you’ll understand I was going to do after something stopped working.

Several things have stopped working. They started working again and then stopped working again. It’s like life. You never know when you get up in the morning (turn it on) what exactly is going to go wrong (stop working).

First it was the audio. And I said nothing. Something to do with something I don’t know. But probably the sound card. Or driver. Or sound card driver. Or Windows. The bass kept dropping out for no apparent reason, which meant – because listening to anything on it without headphones is like having someone who is musically dyslexic play the triangle in a nearby vicinity – I was able to constantly remedy the problem by removing the headphone jack and plugging it back in again. This not quite being what I had hoped for in a brand new laptop, I considered taking it back to where I had purchased it. But after installing a free piece of audio software to enable the use of elevator music in my one and only vlog post so far, things appeared to be approaching one step closer to incredible, as this, or something else I did while trying to deconstruct Windows, caused the loss of bass to no longer occur.

Then it was the media centre. And I said nothing. Because what could be said. It just stopped working. A trouble shooting suggestion arose that I should try restarting the search for incredible. Which I did. Which achieved nothing. So I did nothing more. This seemed to achieve far more than doing something when I found, some time later, that it had begun working again.

Then it was Mozilla Firefox. And I said nothing. But I did research ‘Mozilla Firefox not working on Windows 10’. To which I found I wasn’t alone. And that there was nothing apparent that could be done. Except to stop using windows. Which I’ve been trying to do for ages, Apple.

Then it was everything. Everything stopped working. And I said nothing. I just waited and waited, and nothing happened. Everything had stopped working and nothing was responding. I thought about saying something, but, instead, I just held down the power button until something happened – this initiating what was already happening. Nothing. But in a way that nothing was supposed to happen. Then it did it again. And again. As everything stopped working. Again. And again. So I followed the procedure. Again. And again.

Then it was the thumbnails which used to show images of what the files contained. And still, I said nothing. I just clicked through hundreds of files trying to find the content I was looking for and wondered how much longer my mind was going to be able to endure this search for incredible.

Then it was the touchpad. And I still said nothing. Having become accustomed to Windows operating techniques, I figured the best thing to do would be to take it out of operation. Which I did. Before restarting it. This seemed to achieve the desired result, except for the fact that the touchpad is still overly sensitive to the scroll, under sensitive to the touch, and unresponsive to anything that requires the simultaneous running of anything more than Windows itself.

Finally, my temporal lobe stopped working, but there was nothing left to speak up for me when I tried to research why someone’s brain stops working due to loss of understanding over the decline, or simply the stagnation, of technology, because the WiFi driver, or Windows modem, or router card, or something I don’t know the correct terminology for had stopped working. And there was nothing the internet could say to save me.

So I used my iPhone. Which, despite having been submerged in a bowl of tomato soup, is still working. And slowly, but not as quickly as it would have before installing Windows for iPhone, my temporal lobe began to work again.

Also, I should probably mention that, at least for now, I’ve moved out of the hostel I moved into after moving out of the first hostel I checked into to check out of to check back into to check out of again. Being the mothership of the hostel chain – a worthy candidate for film related documentation – I was going to do a vlog on it, but the elevator wasn’t working for the duration of my stay, and I didn’t really have 3 days to spend creating a 30 second montage of the selection of dorm rooms I stayed in on a computer that it’s time to do a review of.

Which made me realise – as a result of my trip across the city, after having followed behind several parents walking (“walking”) with their delightful bundles of joy who were spinning ecstatically around in circles, walking in the wrong direction, not walking in any direction, clawing at shop front windows, hanging off their parents arms, and attempting to run up walls – that hauling 40kg (a conservative estimate) of dead weight across the city is easier than accompanying something with two legs that was made to be able to transport itself. I realised this as I overtook them with a conservatively estimated 40kg of dead weight.

Now would be a good time to point out, as I sit here thinking about throwing my laptop across the room while typing this on my iPhone, which, despite being burdened with Windows 10.2 for iPhone is still more preferable to use than a piece of technology running Windows that’s not an iPhone, that I’m looking for sponsors to provide me with working technology as I travel the world (city) documenting the lands (city) I’m traveling through (living in) and human beings I pass on the streets who remind me of the computing technology that accompanies me in my reviewable portable technology pack. Apple.


Thanks a lot, Asus.



…which, if you read my first post..


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