Never mind the birthday, here’s the bollocks.

After my last post, I am pleased to say that that which currently alleges to power 27% of the internet has re-implemented a default follow button on this site, and another site – which I had come to think it might be good not to have a follow button on, but now it does, after paining myself about how best to proceed without it, before coming to the conclusion it would be best without it – but not on another site, which is best without it.

Whether this move by that which allegedly powers 27% of the internet has anything to do with my last post has yet to be confirmed, but I’d like to think that I’m making a difference in the world for people using the internet everywhere. And those who are traveling, sharing similar or completely different experiences to myself, who can say, ‘Oh yes, yes, I know what you mean.’ or, ‘I have know idea what you mean. You’re using Windows?’ And those who are not traveling, wondering what it would be like to travel to certain destinations in the world and experience similar, if not the same experiences to myself, living out my experiences vicariously through the reading of this blog, which now has a default follow button, making it easier to share my experiences as I travel the world as a travel blogger, logging about my experiences I have encountered, people I have mistaken for technology I’ve been using, and technology that reminds me of some of the people I have encountered. And also for those thinking about using certain types of technology, which I’ve taken up the responsibility of using in advance so I can advise against the use of that particular sort of technology. Unless it’s an iPhone. In which case I’d recommend using it. Unless it’s a model of iPhone I haven’t been given the opportunity to review yet, Apple.

In that case I would recommend starting a travel blog, dropping subtle hints that you’re seeking out technology to review for the purpose of using it and allowing others the confidence they need in committing to either making sure they don’t use it, or using it.

Which, in a close enough way for purposes of this highly refined space I’ve created on the internet, brings me to my next point.

Being that the missing follow button hasn’t been the only inconsistency I’ve been dealing with, it only seems reasonable to point out that another prominent disadvantage has been the lack of a that-which-allegedly-powers-27%-of-the-internet admin button, which on some sites is present, and on others not.

Not that I mind looking like I know what I’m doing, giving the appearance of coding my way through pre-made themes as I furiously tap away at the keyboard, entering the necessary URL to get where I need to get be, but let’s be honest, having to type in a URL to get to a specific part of a site you’re already in in a decade that’s no longer the 80’s has a rapid ability to get older than the 80’s itself, given the reason for having to do so being due to the unnecessary lack of an internet integrated button that’s giving you the middle finger from so far away you can’t even see it (probably from someone elses website), that for some unknown reason there is no apparent reason for its absence.

Which, also, kind of, brings me to my next point.

Having been uploading content to this blog now for the last 13 lunar cycles – or in solar years, one year – blogging about the places I’ve traveled to, people I’ve encountered, experiences that have further destroyed my brain, and technology that I’ve experienced, I thought it might be a good time as a consumer to give some customer feedback.

So far things have been reasonably quiet from Hewlett-Packard. Quiet enough in fact that I haven’t been able to hear them with their offer of reimbursement for what up until purchasing an Asus was my worst computing purchase since beginning to purchase computing equipment. I don’t entirely blame them, as, had their product not been fitted out with a boulder for an operating system, it’s fairly safe to say I would have only had a problem with the fan turning into a some sort of a klakson inspired alarm production unit with the most difficult off switch to enable in the history of time. That, and the battery which, had it been energising a drumming rabbit, would have been one hundred and fifty five point too many bars short of aiding the marching band to stay in formation long enough for a young boy to be taken to the city by his father to see it.

However, given its endurance in surviving a screen test that made me wonder if my hand would be left permanently deformed, and the fact that it soldiered on with its internal computery exposed to the elements ever since first attempting to turn off its internal alarm (which I now understand was a warning alert to give fair indication that the battery was about to fail), not forgetting its fortitude in grinding its internal bolder into what some might describe as action, it surprised me with its durability and endurance in not simply giving up. Which it hasn’t. Which is why what’s left of it sits in my luggage bag in a hostel locker room waiting for the day it’s reunited with a monitor. Or the day somebody decides to steal the wrong piece of luggage – throwing themself out a window upon having opened it.

Which brings me to my search for incredible.

In short, I’m still searching. And, given the amount of concentration on running what is normally deemed critical to being run on a computer in order to enable usability, I can only conclude that so is the Search for Incredible.

So far I would have to say that the Search for Incredible has been my most painful computing experience yet. At least, I think it has. I had to lobotomise myself in order to bring myself to make its purchase.

I could do an updated of its initial review, listing the new ways of inducing pain to those who can feel it it has developed, but maybe it’s better just to say, on a good day, at least I know I’m less than a foot away from a boulderous mass, should I decide I need something to tie to my leg before throwing myself into the nearest body of water.

As with Hewlett-Packard, Asus haven’t exactly been forthcoming with any form of communication involving discussions of reimbursement. Or psychiatric fees. Or asylum from technology I have come to the conclusion was birthed in a third world destruction zone. This, unlike with Hewlett-Packard, is not quite as understandable, given that at least Hewlett-Packard developed a computer, and not something more akin to a digital calculator from the 1980’s which is really an oversized battery pack to power the iPhone.

In search of incredible

Which brings me to the iPhone.

As with Hewlett-Packard and Asus, Apple hasn’t exactly been forthcoming with offers to save me from their latest edition of iOS. Nor provide me by way of sponsorship with portable technology to further enable me to travel the world as a travel blogger, logging on to the internet to blog about the places I’ve been to, people I have yet to hear from, and technology that I have still yet to receive.

However, given the iPhone is the only piece of technology I own that causes me not to completely lose hope in and cease using technology of the current age, I should state that if you, Apple, do decide to contact me regarding any form of sponsorship that would supply me with up to date technology which I can review in a way that the closest form of review I have yet to have been able to make is in regards to the iPhone, I suggest you contact me on my iPhone.
And if you can’t reach me on my iPhone, it will almost undoubtedly be because I have gained enough followers on my blog to enable me to travel to new destinations to blog about, having reached destination terminal velocity due to having had to wait too long to be contacted about sponsorship of new technology.

If all goes well I’ll land in a river. Or a canal. Or a puddle. Or a cup of water. Or in my own saliva – all of which I’m mostly convinced I’ve heard you can drown in under the right conditions – just in case I survive the fall.

By the way, I checked in to check out of yet another hostel, where it looked like somebody had been throwing themself out of the windows, only to have fled the scene once having realised their poor choice of windows.

The windows which looked like somebody had been throwing themself out of, only to have fled the scene once having realised their poor choice of windows.
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