When you’re trying to view a solar eclipse and the earth gets in the way

It’s a bit like life. You’re trying to view a solar eclipse (use technology) and something goes and gets in the way (Windows, usually, but generally what is referred to as technological “progress”, which is just another way of saying “an update full of feces to burden your operating system with”.

I had a prompt in the form of a pop up window on the Search for Incredible recently to inform me that there were updates ready to install, but that I would need 8GB of free memory in order to install them. Which, ironically enough, is all the free memory the Search for Incredible came with when newly purchased. Unfortunately for ‘Windows 10 updates’ (but fortunately for me) I have since installed things like, iTunes for iPhone, iCloud for iPhone, a speech engine in order to sound like Professor Hawking, and anything else that will aid me in using my iPhone – or just generally sound cool.

I watched a documentary recently on Cassini’s last moments before plummeting into the atmosphere of Saturn. Which I thought was pretty cool. I do things like this instead of traveling – that being something which would enable me to update my travel blog with content regarding traveling.

Not having had as much time recently to sit out in the elements for weeks on end trying to think of amazing content to update my travel blog with whilst not doing any traveling (mainly because I’ve been having to take up alternative vocational activities in order to supplement my blog while it gains enough traction in order to travel the world as a travel blogger, blogging about more than what I might otherwise blog about while not doing any traveling) I’ve been engaging in travel associated scientific research, mostly in the form of watching documentaries on space exploration in order to gain inspiration as to what amazing content I should include in this blog.

Cassini was launched on October 15th 1997, twelve years behind Microsoft Windows, which the internet tells me was launched on November 20th 1985. Cassini made a textbook seven-year journey to Saturn. Microsoft made a lot of mistakes with an operating system. Cassini made unprecedented discoveries and performed not only that which it was designed to do, but more than what was expected of it. Windows kept letting everybody down. Cassini was originally built to last the duration of a four-year mission, but due to its performance had its mission extended, twice, resulting in thirteen years worth of missions and nearly 20 years actively spent in space. Windows just kept on crashing. Eventually, Cassini ended its life on a collision course with Saturn, but only because that’s what it was programmed to do. Windows was programmed to try and work. Unlike Windows, Cassini was a success. Unlike Cassini, Windows has just pissed a lot of people off. Unfortunately, also unlike Cassini, Windows hasn’t terminated itself. Or distanced itself 1.2 billion kilometers away from earth. Or terminated itself that many kilometers away from earth.

Apparently there’s a strain of bacteria that is incredibly persistent in continuing to exist to the extent that it is capable of surviving the vacuum of space, which has raised concerns over the possibility of contamination from probes sent to other worlds. I can’t remember what it’s called now. Maybe Windows.

A man walks into a supermarket and tries to use the self-service checkout, but it keeps crashing, at which point a member of staff provides assistance, to whom the man says, “Running Windows is it?” To which the member of staff says, “Yeah.” To which the man says, “Oh, I was only joking. These run on Windows?” To which the staff member says, “Yeah, 95.” “Windows 95, really? Still, could be worse,” said the man, “could be Windows 10.”

True story.

(Produced on my iPhone.)


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